Jack Parkman

One month older than Yoan Moncada.

LOL.....This is great. We already have Ken though

Ah, yes....more StreetFighter II references. If you remember, Ken and Ryu were basically the same character....no difference between them. Ken had the Haudoken as well.

The Twins won 101 games.......The Astros won 107. Not a huge difference. All that really matters is the top team in the division. You have to beat that number.

Good video:

You do realize that if Moncada and Giolito are the players we think they are and reach the open market, they're going to make a metric shit ton of cash. Think Machado and Cole.

Ask yourself: What would Billy Beane do? What would the Rays do? Given the internal cap that JR seems to have on any individual contract.....it would have to be a consideration.

Oh wait.........

Ryu is the best actual pitcher of the three, but also the least reliable. The lack of reliability is not what the Sox need, and pushes him to the bottom of the list. Ryu is going to make 25 starts a season at best. If the Sox sign Ryu and he can't pitch, it could sink the rebuild.

I don't like Bumgarner, Ryu and Keuchel but if I had to pick combos at this point, in order of preference: Tier B pitchers: 1. Bumgarner 2. Keuchel 3. Ryu Tier C pitchers: 1. Wood 2. Miley 3. Teheran/Walker

Yeah the tier C starters are getting plucked. Go get Wood or Miley before it's too late. At this point I want them to get Bumgarner and Wood.

Just got a clean bill of health from Dr. Andrews. Not worried. The Sox did a better job of keeping him healthy than Boston.

Replace Price with Sale and sure.

At this point, I think Bumgarner is worth the gamble. At least he's durable. He was also pretty good during the 2nd half last year. The gopher balls are an issue, but fuck it.

Guys, I hope you know that last night posting was a comedy routine. I was trying to cheer people up by being ridiculous. Ever heard of dark humor? It was all intentional hyperbole. I : A) didn't want Rendon B) never expected them to be in on him because it makes no sense. The Rendon thread started to go off the rails and I was trying to cheer people up. There are not so subtle hints in the threads that I was 100% not serious. A lot of those comments were meant to be so ridiculous that they're funny. I thought people can tell which posts were serious and which ones weren't, but I guess not.

You're late to the party.

Bruuuuuce just reported that the Sox are interested in Encarnacion.

Where's the Soxtalk poopsmith when you need him?

I didnt peg you as a 60+ year old dude. Stay young at heart, my friend. I didn't find this out until later in life, but my dad isn't actually a Sox fan. He's a Dodger fan who despise the Cubs. I listen to my dad talk about Drysdale, Ron Cey, Davey Lopes and Steve Garvey all the time.

Wishful thinking.

How long have you been a Sox fan? I've been going since I was a little kid. I remember going around in my Starter Frank Thomas uniform pack as a 6 year old when the Sox were on their way to the 93 division title. My dad took me to a game in the old park when I was 3 so I could say I was there. I have no memory of it.

Someone needs to crack another joke to cheer us all up. Jokes are encouraged in this thread. Preferably dark humor.

They don't want to because of the capital gains tax.

I don't see how they're going to compete with the Yankees and Astros. It's going to be really hard to get out of the AL. It's incredibly top heavy. They're going to have to make the playoffs the entire upcoming half decade to get one WS.

I know. God dammit if Jerry had a brain... It isn't 1983 anymore Jerry.....