The Critic

QUOTE(WilliamTell @ Jan 27, 2005 -> 03:44 PM) this is getting down right sick. soon you'll be hearing about 5 year olds playing YMCA basketball getting scouted. There's an excellent sketch on my Mr Show DVD where Bob and David portray rival junior college recruiters trying to sign a 5-year-old kid who can barely dribble a basketball. Mr Show =

I'm seriously loving these bizarro threads lately.... ...I don't understand them, but I love them.....

Coming to theatres, Summer 2005..... "In a world where the balls are larger than normal, the hands are unprotected and it seems like there are too many men on the field, ONE MAN has the power to save his teammates from defeat.....armed with only his own will....and a triple-walled aluminum bat......he gives them hope.....pride.....and a 3-run 7th inning double..... Starring: RENEE ZELLWEGER......as the perky barmaid with a heart of gold...... JOHN GOODMAN......as the cranky umpire who seems to have it in for "the good guys"..... ALEC BALDWIN.......as the wise, grizzled coach who inspires him to look inward..... ....and in his finest role, as the aging hotshot ballplayer who arrived looking for hits but leaves finding something MUCH more important...... TOM CRUISE IS...... SHORT CENTER" ...this movie has not yet been rated.... ( EDITED TO ADD that you and I both realize that Tom Cruise would never play the lead role in any movie with SHORT in the title.... )

QUOTE(santo=dorf @ Jan 27, 2005 -> 11:50 AM) In other "baseball players who look like pro wrestlers" news, "Stone Cold" Rick White got a minor league with the Pirates. "Giveme a hell yeah!" Looks more like Bastion Booger to me.....look him up....

QUOTE(robinventura23 @ Jan 27, 2005 -> 03:01 PM) When have we EVER gotten any respect from ESPN? Who cares what they think. We all know it's a Yankees/Red Sox/Cubs lovefest. You can add the Angels to the fest lately too.

QUOTE(Punch and Judy Garland @ Jan 27, 2005 -> 04:43 PM) How does ray King suck? He helped his team make the world sereis by becoming one of the premier left-handed set-up men in baseball last eyar as well as driving the clubhouse. Why do you think he's wrong? I don't know. Just because he has an opinion that is contrary to what you are hoping for doesn't mean he's wrong. No, but King basing his opinion on Iguchi's ability or future on a five or seven game exhibition series - is ill-informed and premature. Kind of like if someone based their opinion of Ray King on the time he spent with the Cubs, which was forgettable at best. EDITED to laugh hysterically if King was yapping about someone who wasn't even on the team....

QUOTE(Y2HH @ Jan 27, 2005 -> 02:17 AM) I love it. Press conference prior to the Sox/Cubs game in which Garcia is slated to pitch: Media : Freddie, do you know who you'll be pitching against in the... Freddie : IT DOESN'T MATTER!#$! Because when that day comes...FINALLLLLLY, the Sox will have come back...to the biggest damn urinal in the world, Wrigley field. And when we head down to yuppie-ville, convienently located on the corner of the Cubs better know their damn role boulevard and jabronie drive, I'm gonna lay the smack down on ALL their roody-poo candy asses! Theres gonna be curveballs, fastballs, this ball and that ball...and the Cubs are gonna be chokin' on Sox balls, all...night...long! The peoples pitcher has spoken...if ya smelllllllllll-l-l-l-l-lahhh...what the SOX...are cookin'. Wow...I have too much time on my hands. NICE!!!!

QUOTE(Y2HH @ Jan 26, 2005 -> 10:51 PM) Sometimes, pictures of Freddie Garcia freak me out, like the one you use as your avatar. I sometimes think he's the Rock reincarnated into a baseball player. If a fight ever breaks out he needs to peoples elbow someone, or even better, he should start referring to himself as the Peoples Pitcher in media appearances. I think Freddy is the halfway point between Mark Buerhle and The Rock. I got my pocket schedule and at first glance I wondered why Buerhle was wearing #34...and throwing right-handed.....

QUOTE(Texsox @ Jan 26, 2005 -> 04:18 PM) If you are going to kill yourself, don't involve other people, do not make a mess. If you are the cutter/slasher type, do it in the bathtub. Gas, garage with the engine running and plenty of fuel (Some people underestimate how long it takes and do not start with a full gas tank). No swallowing a gun, it's always messy, ditto on jumping. An overdose would also work nicely. Park your car on train tracks so other people are also killed?? :fyou You ever work at the Suicide Hotline??? "Hey, those are great suggestions, man.....thanks!"

I think I'll call him Scooter, or Fletch....

QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Jan 27, 2005 -> 08:53 AM) Uribe wore a tight shirt to one of his signings and he had no kind of gut what-so-ever. Lookee who's noticing Uribe's wardrobe......heh......

It really doesn't matter to me where Maggs goes now. I'd rather he went to a non-AL Central team, just in case the leg is sound. I'm just glad that the Sox didn't sign him now, since they would've been stuck monetarily and couldn't have made half the moves they did without dealing Konerko and Lee, and maybe Garland or Marte too.

Wow, the stuff that comes out of Ray King's mouth during those infrequent moments when he's not chewing....

what's next - Diet Cherry Carbonated Beer???? bleccccch to the whole idea....

Yeah, gotta merge - can't have TWO of something, or CHOICES, or competition, or anything like that....that would be SOOOOO bads for the consumer.....ugh.....

Speaking of eyes, Steff is the MASTER ( mistress?? ) of the ROLLY-EYES!!!! ...and a damn fine baseball mind in her own right....

QUOTE(shakes @ Jan 26, 2005 -> 01:46 PM) I could see the first Hawks home game recap: Hawks lose 2-1. Tonights paid attendance is 11. ...but in happier news, those 11 people purchased a total of 38 beers....

Yeah, I totally forgot about the Predators ( just like the people of Nashville ). The Penguins can live, if only for Mario's sake, and the Predators can be eliminated. Columbus, as was stated, seems to care a bit about the Jackets, so they're spared.

42% Yankee. EDIT to say that I think that's bulls***, since the VAST majority of my answers went Great Lakes and Midwest - I realize that most of the Midwest is thought of as hicks, but I am from CHICAGO, dammit, NOT the Midwest!!!!!

QUOTE(Athomeboy_2000 @ Jan 26, 2005 -> 08:56 AM) Maybe it is just me, but I would like more than 6 people on the team who can speak fluent english. I'll settle for them being able to speak fluent "whatever-the-hell-the-manager-is-saying"....

"Rye'm Ro Rasted...."

Linky brokey.

Uhhhhh.....William Tell.......uhhhhh.......likes penguin-on-penguin violence.....is that a compliment????? Oh, and his punctuation is almost always perfect!!!!

Wow, this type of gushy rhapsody is usually sung AFTER a winning season.... I'm optimistic about this team's chances, but I ain't writin' no love songs just yet....

QUOTE(mreye @ Jan 26, 2005 -> 10:26 AM) Don't ask me how it started. The lecherous desire of your circle of friends to see each other naked, perhaps???