The Critic

ONLY if I get to hold the car keys!!! You didnt even attempt to hold my keys saturday. Mikey Boy, there's nothing on or around you that ANYONE wants to hold!!! Who knows where those keys have been??? Besides, I had my car on Saturday - I certainly wasn't going to hop in your car after the 34 beers and 15 shots YOU had!! Friends don't let friends drive drunk...

ONLY if I get to hold the car keys!!!

Okay....here's my story....I talked to my therapist and he said that it might help to talk about it.... So I'm drunk as hell one night and I close the bar down, so it's REAL late...when I get up to leave, I realize my ride has already left the place...so I'm pissed...I check my wallet and I'm flat broke...so a cab is out of the question...so I start to walk...and now I'm getting depressed, cuz it's gonna take AT LEAST an hour and a half to get home from the bar on foot, and it's like 15 degrees out...so THEN it starts to rain...not a hard rain, just that annoying little spitting rain that you don't even feel until suddenly you're wet as f*** and it's making you EVEN colder...so I'm walking and considering the different ways I can kill my "friend" who left me at the bar, when a car slows down to match my pace...I don't even notice until someone asks me if I need a lift anywhere....now all the warnings from my parents, Officer Friendly in grade school and everyone else run through my head, but at the same time, I'm REALLY f***ing cold and wet...so I take the ride...and the driver says, "What's YOUR name?" I tell her, and she says, "I'm Soxtalk". I asked her what the hell kind of name THAT was, and she laughed and gave me a drink. Now stupid me, I should know better than to drink something that a stranger gives you in their car in the middle of the night, but my common sense was gone at that point, so I drink it...next thing I know, I wake up in this s***ty little studio apartment in God only knows where...my head is pounding like SamMe's salsa music and my genitals are sore...I can only assume that there was some "inappropriate touching" going on while I was passed out...so Soxtalk comes out of the bathroom and asks me how I slept....real f***in funny...then she asks me if I wanted breakfast...I said, "No THANK you, I vaguely remember what happened the LAST time I accepted something from you!" More laughter...now I'm REALLY pissed, but a little scared, cuz I still don't know where I am...so I said that I gotta use the john...THANK GOD there's a window that leads to the street...I crawl out the window and high-tail it in any direction...and THAT'S when I remember the emergency money I stuck in my sock before I went out drinking!!! "Dumbass!!!", I yell at the top of my lungs...so I catch a cab, felling dirty and cheap and disgusting and everything else you'd feel in my situation...but yet I keep coming back now...kinda sick in a way, huh? So there it is...and my therapist was wrong...it didn't really help at all to talk about it...

Both, it appears. This whole "retro" craze has apparently led to the resurgence in bowling interest. I have always enjoyed watching bowling on a lazy winter afternoon. I used to watch it on ABC, and I'm glad that ESPN has picked it up on Sunday afternoons. Also, hockey viewership is down, for reasons we've discussed here before. Another reason is that the average American "casual sports fan" is too stupid or lazy to follow "the little black puck", and apparently too xenophobic to care about anyone who "ain't an Anerican". I actually heard an in-depth discussion on the radio about how "American sports fans just can't realte to someone from another country". That's insane - what difference does the person's nationality make if they're good at what they do?

Especially if he retires as a player like he says he's going to! Who's left to watch on that team if he leaves?? OMG, the only reason to go to a Pens game would be to see the other team!!

Downey scored an IMPRESSIVE one-punch knockout against Carolina's Michael Boularice ( sp? ) Boularice whiffed and Downey MADE! HIM!! PAY!!! He left the game with "mouth lacerations" - probably from all the teeth rattling around the inside of his mouth!! By the way, a question for the folks who ask if fighting belongs in hockey - have you ever looked at the crowd during a fight? I've never seen ONE person with a disgusted look on his face - everyone's smiling. There's your answer - if HOCKEY FANS want it, it belongs.

Unfortunately, YES, a lot of people are total sheep and live and die on every move that these people make. This "culture" is so full of star-crossed followers that some idiots don't even know the name of our Vice President, but can rattle off the title of every movie Tom Cruise has ever been in. A huge segment of the American population is a complete embarrassment. The Kennedys are royalty, people chased another country's princess to her death, and we're more concerned with Michael Jackson's nose, Britney Spears' inflating and deflating tits and where R. Kelly's allegedly sticking his meat than we are with a potential global crisis. It's the lowest common denominator at an all-time low, and it's sad.

I had a weird thing happen a couple of days ago - when I'd try to log on, I'd get a prompt to save the file to disk. It happened for a couple hours, then I was able to get in. Oh well

Thanks for the back-up, SI1020 and FanOf14. Hockey is by far my favorite sport, and I hate what Bettman's tinkering has done to it. It's a shame that hockey fans in __________ ( fill in the city name here - Miami, Raleigh, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Ottawa, etc. etc. ) will have to lose their teams in order to save the sport, but it was a shame that Quebec, Winnipeg and Hartford had theirs taken away too. By the way, I got an Oilers alternate jersey for Valentine's Day - my wife ROCKS!!! Now I gotta get the red Senators jersey before they fold up the tent...

The NHL owners made the mistake of hiring Gary "Radar" Bettman to run the league ( into the ground ). He seems to think that hockey should be like basketball, with all the distractions and bells and whistles that the NBA uses to "enhance the game experience". All that stuff is crap, and most hockey fans prefer to concentrate on the game, and don't need all that garbage. Mistake #2 that the NHL made is too much expansion. The result is a watered-down game and ballooning salaries in a league that doesn't generate the income that other sports do, yet tries to compete in the salary boom to make it seem more legitimate as a "Big Four" sport. Like it or not, hockey is a niche sport, and should realize its place and its fan base and stop trying to become something it's not. There are many other problems with the NHL, and unfortunately ( or fortunately, if you see it like I do ), some teams will have to die off before this any sanity is brought back to the NHL's business model. By the way, Radar ABSOLUTELY wants some teams to die before the next collective bargaining agreement negotiations take place. At the very least, he wants to show the NHLPA that even teams that are successful on the ice, like Ottawa, simply can't stay above water with the current structure. In short, Bettman is trying to solve problems that his own management style helped to create.

It's one thing to love animals....it's another thing altogether to LOVE animals... Those PETA people are the kind of people who put leg warmers on dogs.

I knew that the intense love RPS has for Crede was going to show up sooner or later! Stop stalking the poor man - what are you, The Cable Guy???

And let's not forget the fact that the coach over-uses his goaltender, so the guy becomes less and less effective during the stretch drive and the playoffs ( well, when they make the playoffs, that it... ) Thibault is not a huge man physically, so I believe he wears down, and this has been documented in years past. Those who do not learn from mistakes are doomed to repeat them... The Blackhawks are the only team in the NHL without a victory by any backup goaltender. In my mind, this says more about coaching decisions than it does about the quality of the Hawks' backups. The backups seem to get in the game after Thibault has let in a few softies, or they throw Leighton in there against Detroit the night after Thibault plays against Columbus or Nashville. I think you save your top guy for the top teams and let him rest against "lesser" clubs. Oh, and there's just not enough offense. The Hawks have been losing some 2-1 and 3-1 games lately. They were winning those early in the year.

Get ready for the Battle Of The Airwaves this summer!!! Who will emerge victorious, Joe Batters' SnR or RPS's Chisport Radio??? Blood!!! Beer!!! UNPROFESSIONAL BROADCASTING!!! This feud has it all!!!!!!! "Ladies and Gentlemen, for the 3 people in attendance, and the dozens listening at home...... LLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO BRRRRROOOOOOOOAAADCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSST!!!!"

I think it would be stupid not to carry Daubach. He's a versatile left-handed bat who can play first base or either corner outfield position and is a real solid bench player to have. To leave him off in favor of a THIRD catcher seems a little silly to me. I'm still surprised that Boston let him go like that, considering they have Tony Clark at first, a guy I've never been sold on.

As far as the teams go, here's who I'd take for the all-Chicago team: LF - Alou this year, but ONLY this year CF - this is tough - both have potential, I'll take Borchard for now RF - Sosa - like him or not, he puts up BIG numbers 3B - Crede, it's not even close SS - Gonzalez - it's biased because I just don't like Mr. Mustache 2B - Hill - I think Jiminez is okay, but I think Hill will break out this year 1B - Konerko - not even close over Hee Flops Choi C - there are no catchers in Chicago, but I'll take Miller because I have to take someone DH - Thomas Starters Colon Buerhle Wood Prior Clement Closer Koch I'm not going to do bench or middle relief Gotta say, that's a great team. I wish there was someplace for Ordonez, and I almost put him at DH, but I'd probably put him in left field if I really had all these guys to choose from. I just think Alou has something to prove this year, and so does Thomas.

I think both teams have approximately the same number of diehard fans, but the Cub diehards get kinda swallowed up by the "girls, beers and cellphones" crowd. Here's the difference, as I see it: The Sox don't have the casual fan who goes to the ballpark for "the event". New Comiskey ( Cellphone Field ) is NOT a draw for the casual fan, and Wrigley is. Like it or not, the Clark Street area is bustling with things to do post-game, and Bridgeport is not. Thus, the casual "event fan" will choose Wrigley. They then tell their equally vapid friends about the cool time they had, and the friend then wants to be part of the fun. It gives the Cubs a bad name, although they do cater to that clientele, so they deserve the bad name to some degree. There ARE many Cub fans who absolutely HATE the Cubs' indifference to really competing, and the way the Cubs spend their money stupidly ( Todd Hundley, anyone? ANYONE??? ). As far as being a genetic thing, I think that who you root for is definitely passed down from family, so it would be an environment thing. Some people stay with the team their parents watched, but some break away and form their own allegiances. If the Sox win consistently for a few years, like they did in the early 90's, they will draw the casual fan like they did in the early 90s. This was once considered a "Sox town", let's not forget. That changed around 1984, and the current ownership had a LOT to do with the change ( charging for subscription TV, chasing Harry Caray away, creating the ghastly Ribbie and Roobarb, etc. ). It will be difficult to get it back, but it can be done. IF the Sox win enough, and IF they can reconfigure the Salad Bowl to look more like a traditional ballpark, and IF the Sox can help change the stereotype of the neighborhood ( a tough task, to be sure - how do you change a perception like that? ), then US Cellular Field could again become the place to be.

The addition of Brian Daubach will raise the Tinker Bar considerably. Left-handed bat, late-inning replacement, multiple positions he can field....that's a lot of tinkering blocks for JM! Add into that the fact that I predict Jose Valentin to have a HORRIBLE year, and the tinkerometer might spin out of control! I don't really have any concrete reason why I think that Mr. Mustache will fail, I just don't like him and I wouldn't mind seeing someone else at short...

let me think....Tejada or Valentin.....ooh that's a tough one..... Tejada - NOW. Although the thought of JR having to try and pay Tejada and Colon along with all the established guys like Magglio and PK might make him drop his US CELLULAR phone in horror!!

I wouldn't worry about what that gerbil-faced know-nothing thinks about anything. He looks like Paul McCartney's grandfather, and he's never right EVER about anything! It's like Harold Lederman's scorecard on HBO boxing - whoever Lederman has winning the fight is almost GUARANTEED to lose! In short, Gammons is a tool.

It's a good gesture, and the right thing to do, but you know it will be twisted around by the anti-Israeli factions. He should definitely try to attend, or at least send representation if he can't make it there himself.

Now Jalen Rose is the only consistent offensive threat the Bulls have. Marshall has been good, but a little streaky, and nobody else can be counted on to provide offensive punch. Unless they can somehow find a power forward who can score somewhere, this is a major setback for this year's team. Question: should the Bulls count on Fizer for next year, or should they hedge their bets by trying to acquire another PF in the offseason, if they can't get one now?

Michael Jordan is still a VERY good basketball player, which you would NOT know if all you listened to were the so-called "experts" who write stories for a living. To hear them tell it, he's just like Willie Mays when he played for the Mets - an old, ineffective, washed-up has-been. This is simply NOT THE CASE. Is he what he was? No. Does he drop 40+ every night, or even once a week? No. But what he is, is a damn good basketball player who has a great head for the game, and someone who simply loves to compete. As far as the "he should have quit when he hit the title-winning shot" argument, WHY? Because YOU thought it's how he should end his career? Who has the right to tell anyone how to live their lives? I hear people talk about John Elway, and how he retired "as a champion". Well, by their logic, he should have quit after the FIRST Super Bowl he won, and he DIDN'T. To listen to the "go out on top" people, Elway should never have the chance to enjoy the 2nd title. It's ridiculous - just like the idea that Jordan "only" scoring 17 points a game on average somehow makes his 6 NBA titles disappear or something. It's a brainless argument, in my opinion.

steve stone is awesome?????????? what are a closet sCrub fan. Sox fan, Cub fan, whatever - if you're a baseball fan, you have to know that Stone is maybe the best analyst in any broadcast booth. He does the near-impossible: he makes it ALMOST possible to listen to Chimp Caray! He also carried Harry for the last 5-10 years of his life, when Harry was so far gone that he was like Ozzy Osbourne is now...

I don't believe that this was a terrorist attack. CNN reported that some pieces broke off of the shuttle at launch, and struck a wing. NASA did not believe at that time that the damage was serious enough to turn the shuttle back around, but I think we'll find that the damage hampered the return to Earth, and that's what caused the explosion. It's truly a tragedy, and the worst part has to be the fact that the astronauts' loved ones were at the landing area, and I'd hate to have the job of informing and consoling them. While every astronaut knows that something like this can happen, they have so many successful missions that I think you start to feel that this kind of disaster won't happen again. May God rest their souls...