The Critic

Hmmmmm......they ALWAYS broadcast together, and they'll be at the Hyatt ALL WEEKEND, unable to broadcast.....the "Do Not Disturb" sign will be on the door, eh, boys??? Make sure you attend at least a few of the OFFICIAL festivities, OK? Ummmm............ How about ..............NO! NO? You mean you're NOT going to attend any of the official SoxFestivities???? ewwwwwwwwwww............ Sorry, hsc, but sometimes life gets ugly....

Hmmmmm......they ALWAYS broadcast together, and they'll be at the Hyatt ALL WEEKEND, unable to broadcast.....the "Do Not Disturb" sign will be on the door, eh, boys??? Make sure you attend at least a few of the OFFICIAL festivities, OK?

Kinda surprised that Daubach couldn't get more than this just on name recognition - the Sox have 4 or 5 guys they could play at 1B ahead of him. I panicked for a second, thinking that they'd signed FELIX Heredia!

I've heard worse two-man teams...on Sunday afternoons on Internet radio... Madden is starting to sound a little like Ozzy Osbourne to me.

I thought it was good for the first night. I like the idea of rotating guest hosts - I wonder how long it will take for Adam Corolla to get his week guest-hosting ( over/under is 3 weeks ). I think Jimmy is very funny, and I think he can crossover to the "mainstream" audience without pussifying too much. Also, one of my favorite writers, Bill Simmons ( the Sports Guy from espn.com ) is on his writing team.

Hey, Red, you have four days til your show - read the paper or something, willya? There's nothing sadder than you and Guido trying to wing it!!!

Thought I read somewhere that the injury's not quite as bad as they originally feared, but maybe I'm wrong. The guy seems like a good player, but a flake. Not as bad as Theo, though...

The way Sullivan was defending him, I'd bet he was one of the teammates with Fleury. By the way, that league-appointed babysitter's doing a hell of a job, isn't he? If Fleury said to him, "I think I'm going to smoke some crack and try to baord an airplane with a loaded gun", this guy would say, "Shut up, dude, American Idol's on!!"

Quote: "the only one" That quote is why some gentlemen felt compelled to list more than one person. You chose to pick your "not many" out to support you, but "the only one" supports the rebuttal.

Everyone's favorite alcoholic midget on skates, Theo Fluery, apparently got into a drunken dispute with bouncers while being kicked out of the Pure Platinum strip club in Columbus, Ohio on Sunday night. If the league determines ( since no breathalyzer was administered ) through police reports and investigation that Fluery was indeed intoxicated, he can be suspended for up to 6 months. ...couldn't see THAT coming....great idea, Mike Smith....next time, can you pay a little more for a free agent WITHOUT a lifelong "disease" that can pop back up at any time and screw the Hawks? PLEEEEEEEASE? ....again, kids, stay OUT of strip clubs, especially at 4 AM!

Dude, begging for beer is a clear cry for help!! ...the first step is admitting that you have a problem...

I'll tell you what - maybe he can hit SOME notes, but none of those notes appear on Back In Black. It was dismal, he couldn't hit ANY of the high-end stuff on that song. Perhaps if he keeps within a certain range he's okay ( although I still think "the D" is crap ), but I'm guessing that they thought it would be funny for Jack Black to perform Back In Black. They were wrong. Oh, and Red, I can't help it if you take too long to get to the saloon! I know it takes a while for you to stop crying about your at-bats, but REALLY...

As for April Latrine, she isn't so much the new s***ney as she is "your little sister's Alanis Morrisette". They're both little Canadian pop princesses who were steered like cattle into the "alternative" music style by their handlers. It makes me want to :puke when they call her "punk" or "skate punk" or anything like that, because her music and image are pre-packaged and carefully marketed so as to appear somehow dangerous without managing to offend anyone except fans of punk music. Simply horrific....

Yep, call me cheap if you want to, but I just don't feel like getting raked over the coals for an evening's entertainment. Case in point: the Goo Goo Dolls were in Chicago in October or November and tickets cost 25 bucks or so. Last night, they were at the House Of Blows, for ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY BUCKS. That's what I mean by Overpriced Eve. I will spend my money, but I need to get proper value for it. I know you like to waste money ( when you have it ), like buying yourself a new bat when you KNOW you can't hit anyway. I may be a cheap Polack, but I get my money's worth. As for the Jerry Jr. wisecrack...:**** Mike North Jr.!! And could Carson Daly look any more bored and distracted than he did last night? HA! Jack Black is a hack! He just mugs to the camera with that retarded grin on his face, like it's supposed to be funny or something. Tenacious D is terrible, and anyone - ANYone - could do what he does in movies...:puke

So I'm home last night - I never go out on Overpriced Eve - and I'm flipping channels. I check out MTV to see what they're doing. It's their "New Year's Pajama Party" - typically juvenile. Foo Fighters play their new "hit single" - I like it, I'm a fan of Dave Grohl ( wish he would drum more often, great work on the QOTSA disc ). They tell me to "stay tuned cuz at midnight, Foo Fighters will be performing an AWESOME COVER SONG". One of the guitarists is wearing a Clash t-shirt and has an "R.I.P. Joe Strummer" message written on his guitar, so I'm hoping for Clampdown but thinking maybe Train In Vain or Rock The Casbah. So I come back around 10:50 Central after watching some Insomniac on Comedy Central ( a surprisingly funny show, by the way ). So at the stroke of 11:00 Central, what do Foo Fighters play? A WEEEEEEEAK cover of AC/DC's Back In Black with vocals NOT by Dave, but by that graduate of the Chris Farley Academy of Comedic Overstatement, Jack "I want so badly to be John Belushi, but I'm more like Jim" Black. BLACK - get it????? Back In Black???? ugh. awful awful awful awful awful....but what should I have expected from MTV? :puke Jack Black :puke MTV

If there was a strong wind at the park, would the announcers have to say that "there's a Genuine Draft today"??? :huh

On Tuesday the Chicago White Sox signed former Twins DH David Ortiz to a lucrative multiyear contract. When asked for comment, GM Kenny Williams stated, "Wait....DAVID Ortiz??? Oh no.....not AGAIN!!!"

Anything he did as a manager has ZERO to do with his playing days, and should be ignored when considering his induction into the Hall. Whether or not the lifetime ban is lifted, I don't care. But if the person who got more hits than anyone else isn't in the Hall Of Fame, then the HOF doesn't mean all that much to me.

ESPN.com reporting that Russ Ortiz was traded to the Braves for lefty Damian Moss and a minor-leaguer. Looks like KW missed again...

Why do I think that if the Bears had drafted Buriss, he'd have turned into David Terrell?

I thought the way it went is, Boris is "holding out" until he gets traded, the Hawks don't have to pay him while he sits, and the team cleared his locker out. I could be wrong, but that's the way I took it from the story in the Times. Oh, and Theo scores in his first game back, but the Hawks lose to the Sucky Ducks. I had a cold one for the "brutha who can't"...

question: does it ruin the joke at all that his name is pronounced "Kotch"?

? Ummm...the Wrigley family owned the Cubs for a LONG time...thus the name...

I heard that both Karros and Grudzielanek are in the last year of their contracts, while Hundley has another after 2003, so if the Cubs are stuck with them, they're only stuck with them for one year. Karros could be good insurance against the failure of Hee Sop Choi. I hear that "Hee Sop" means "Strike Out" in Korean, by the way...