I'd like to open a business but I don't have enough capital and banks aren't lending to anyone.

 

 

Politics aside, its never true that they aren't lending to ANYONE. Its just harder. It wouldn't hurt you to look into it, before being sure its not possible.

I'm still trying regardless.

I'm still trying regardless.

 

 

Yea, butt (HAR HAR HAR) you've got some lending advantages that many others don't have.

Yea, butt (HAR HAR HAR) you've got some lending advantages that many others don't have.

Yeah that's true.

 

I found out there is a tax break for employers who hire people from off welfare... I never knew that.

This is from the bake sale organizer. I might have to quit my day job.

 

They want your buns bad

They want your buns bad

I see what you did there.

I'll admit it. I looked. And I think Greg Oden's knee problems are a basketball related injury. However, the constant pounding from the side can't be good for him.

I'll admit it. I looked. And I think Greg Oden's knee problems are a basketball related injury. However, the constant pounding from the side can't be good for him.

 

Reminds me of the time a buddy was wearing gray sweat pants. He had the pockets pulled out, and I was like, why do you have those pulled out? He said "They're my elephant ears. Want to see the trunk?"

Reminds me of the time a buddy was wearing gray sweat pants. He had the pockets pulled out, and I was like, why do you have those pulled out? He said "They're my elephant ears. Want to see the trunk?"

 

Oh I am sooo using that one to some girls I know. Some of my Quagmire lines gets old.. not for them, but for me.

My boxers are disappearing one by one, this is starting to piss me off

My boxers are disappearing one by one, this is starting to piss me off

My socks seem to disappear.

My boxers are disappearing one by one, this is starting to piss me off

The last time that happened to me, they reappeared on a pine tree the last day of college.

http://www.realmofdarkness.net/sounds/hans...oundboard-2.htm

My boxers are disappearing one by one, this is starting to piss me off

Underpants gnomes.

It's always an awkward moment when your friends finally realize you've got a larger than normal penis.

It's always an awkward moment when your friends finally realize you've got a larger than normal penis.

 

Did you read John Holmes autobiography?

Underpants gnomes.

That was my 1st thought exactly...

That was my 1st thought exactly...

They're everywhere

It's always an awkward moment when your friends finally realize you've got a larger than normal penis.

 

Oh I feel so sorry for you. I hate that you have to have an awkward moment about something as embarrassing as that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

f***er

Stolen from facebook

 

 

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

It's always an awkward moment when your friends finally realize you've got a larger than normal penis.

 

Your packin Alex? Very nice. You can finally say to girls "you can't handle me" even though your only like 80 pounds.

Your packin Alex? Very nice. You can finally say to girls "you can't handle me" even though your only like 80 pounds.

 

I thought the fact that I even posted that was odd, but this reply is odder.

Pics or it didn't happen

So I spent several hours this afternoon digging my car and my wife's car out after the blizzard and I feel like I got gang-raped after a bar fight right now. While I was out there shoveling my wife came out, and my neighbor commented (probably jokingly) that I was selfish and I'm supposed to dig my wife's car out first. lol... wtfever. Mind you, my wife hadn't done s*** at all but she still had the nerve to start smiling and agree. I handed her the shovel and sat down.

Oh, and also my stepdaughter came outside to play around and was basically being useless, she wouldn't help and I told her if she wasn't going to at least attempt to do something then get out of my way. It was pissing me off b/c I shouldn't have to tell a 12 year old to pull her weight around the house but she stood around and mockingly pretended to give motivational speeches until I told her get out of my face. Then a couple hours ago she starts laughing and saying what a nice day it was "especially if you sat in the house and did nothing all day." I told her that was f***ing insulting, to STFU, and be mindful of how she was behaving next time she asked me for something. That finally got to her because she got really quiet. Short of slapping her in the face or something I can't MAKE her do anything and my wife wasn't helping at all... ugh

Kids suck.