The Critic

NEVER trust the gun. You could line up five radar guns and get five different readings. Radar guns don't clock movement or location, so they're useless. Nice to see Koch have a SOLID outing - here's to many more of those!!!

Tampa Bay completes the SWEEP over the Canadiens! This is GREAT - the Lightning moves on to the Eastern Conference finals! Martin St. Louis might be the most exciting player to watch in all of hockey! GO T-BAY!!!

I understand that Hawk is VERY happy that Manuel is gone, and I am too, but he really is running the risk of overdoing the whole "Miracle Worker" thing with Oz. Right now, he's basically comparing him to Lou Piniella and Tony LaRussa, which is completely unfair given that Oz hasn't even managed one full month in the bigs yet. I KNOW he's comparing approaches and not results, but he comes off sounding like he's canonizing Ozzie and I just think it's a little too early for it right now. As much as I like what Oz has done so far, I'm already tired of Hawk's ass-licking.

as long as the threads don't deteriorate into name-calling or hate speech, I would never want to lock down a topic of conversation. Sounds too much like censorship to me...

Very nice article - productive and positive with GOOD ideas, and a little smart-alecky, too, which you KNOW I like! Ladewski.....nice job!

Unfortunately, I won't be there. Going to see the Angels on May 28th ( WAS going to go on my birthday the next day, but it's goddamn dog day :puke ) and after that it's Wednesday and Thursday games with my daughter ( Silver & Black Pack ) until August 21st when I try to get a Loaiza bobblehead. Have fun and enjoy the beers and sausages I would have had!

Forgive me if I don't assume that my beer vendor is Donald Trump. I'm fairly confident in the assumption that most beer vendors are not doing it for chuckles, and may actually need and appreciate the extra cash.

I think Cardiac Kids is overused. Every team that wins games late gets called that. I like the No Quit White Sox. That's what I'm using, at least until they start quitting...

...and not to brag on myself, but here's my own personal tip guide: if I have 0 cents to 50 cents change comin' back, I add another buck. over 50 cents change, that's the tip, unless I'm buying like 3 or 4 of something, then I add another buck anyway. Besides feeling good about helping a guy ( or gal ) out a little, I find that the vendors have a GOOD memory about who tips pretty well, and will keep you supplied nicely throughout the event. Sure, it adds a bit of cash to your outlay, but at ballpark prices what's the difference?

I KNEW a "no-tippin' Pippen" reference would come up sooner or later! Mad at myself for skippin' the no-tippin' Pippen!

I did notice one very small detail, though. The May 16th game vs. the Twins is a 2:05 pm start, and it's on the calendar as a 12:05 pm start. I'm guessing Cheat got confused with the Toronto game on the 9th which IS a 12:05. A minor quibble with an otherwise EXCELLENT wallpaper! to Da Cheat!

Oh, s***! My "Guitar Geek alert System" monitor just caught fire and exploded!!

Isn't that the guy from Simply Red? I believe it is, and YES, I'm ashamed to know that....

I know we beat that topic to death last season, but they NEED to drop that policy. Any fan who buys a ticket deserves the option to enjoy the entire USCF experience, especially now that they've made such nice improvements. To restrict upper deck people from the lower concourse and FanDeck comes off looking like you're trying to bully people into buying more expensive tickets. It's a bad policy and it makes Sox management seem rude and cheap ( Imagine THAT! )

I tip EVERY time. To me, a vendor is no different than a waiter or a bartender. If I don't want to tip, or am running low on cash, I go to the concession stand to get stuff for myself. And even then, if there's a tip jar, I'll try to do a little somethin'. I've worked in foodservice in the past ( the WAAAAY distant past, but still... ) and I remember what it's like to depend on tips.

There is no such thing as an ugly win, just as there is no such thing as a beautiful loss or a moral victory. ANY game that ends with a higher number on the correct side of the ledger is PURTY!!!!!

Is this going to be a "be careful what you wish for" kind of thing? The Bulls market the hell out of themselves, but I swear to God, if I see a bunch of fat guys dancing on the field.....................

The last 3 books I've read: ( I read mostly biographies lately - I really enjoy them ) Sex, Lies and Headlocks - the bio of Vincent Kennedy McMahon - a very VERY interesting look into the backstage world of pro wrestling and the McMahon family. If you're into rasslin' at all, this is a must-read I Had A Hammer - the bio of Hank Aaron - starts off a little slow, but picks up steam about 1/3 of the way in - overall, an interesting read and sheds a lot of light on why Hank seems aloof and angry to the outside world I Ain't Got Time To Bleed - the bio of Jesse Ventura - I've been skipping and skimming through this one - not as interesting as I had hoped - kinda spotty and boring at times

Reminds me of my favorite Chelios joke: Q. What's the difference between Chelios and his Chili Bar? A. The shots at his bar AIN'T CHEAP!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ...and I think Weinrich still does play D for Philly, and Hackett was still there too, until his vertigo forced him to retire.

I would, if RedPinStripes hadn't thrown Sox & Roll into the trash.... Figures, doesn't it? RPS stays in it for two years of Corpseball, then bails just when Ozzie Guillen takes over!!! Ozzie would have kept me in business ALL YEAR!! So now I have to do the MachoDMX for myself, and NONE OF YOU get to enjoy it! I'm gonna throw in a verse by Stoney AND one by ScamME Sofa, just to RUB IT IN!!!!

...but 72 of those runs against were inherited runners....

Sounds like the honorable Representative is trying to legislate away the IMPURE THOUGHTS running through his NASTY LITTLE BRAIN.... You WANT some of that, DON'TCHA, DERRICK???? KILLIN YA that you can't HAVE THAT, isn't it, REPRESENTATIVE??? Wouldn't be RIGHT for an ELECTED OFFICIAL to think those DIRTY DIRTY THOUGHTS....especially a GOD-FEARIN', CLEAN LIVIN' one like yourself....RIGHT, Derrick???? Make a new law....yeah, THAT's it....throw them in jail....THAT'LL get those thoughts out of your head....then you can look at your hairy, piggish bride again.... HA!!!!!!

Amonte, Zhamnov, and Roenick have a 7-game scoring streak for the Flyers. They've scored at least a point in every postseason game so far. Scamnov himself has scored in every playoff game so far! I guess it's just "location, location, location", huh?

What's "perminite" mean? Is that half-permanent, half-definite? Sorry, man, HAD TO after you busted him on "Melvyn"...

Clement didn't hang many sliders today, his s*** was pretty nasty. Piazza looked helpless - he knew the slider was coming, he moved in on the plate more to take the outer half away and he STILL couldn't touch it. Like it or not, when The Passion returns that team is gonna be double-tough. Even when they realize that Borowski's velocity isn't coming back, they have Hawkins to take over. And while I realize that Hawk failed as a closer for Minny, that was a few years ago already and I think he's ready for it now. I think the sleeper is going to be Ryan Dempster - when he's ready to return, he can step in for any starter who's struggling, or at least provide some solid middle relief.