Quin

In a twist, Soxtalk.com servers don't overload because we've all blacked out from the sheer stupidity of it all.

The tides have turned!

Home runs = good Dylan Cease also good

Oof, that was a good ass catch.

The Sox won and are once again at the fabled .500 mark, but last game's vibes can be summed up as this: Pitching for the White Sox: Dylan Cease: 10-4, 2.03, 154 K In the AL, Cease is 4th in fWAR, 3rd in ERA, and 2nd in strikeouts. Dylan's been great, but he wasn't an All-Star, because the White Sox have to win games by the skin of their teeth against All-Stars like the A's Paul Blackburn, who if you read yesterday's gamethread, you'll realize is basically the most average pitcher possible. Adam Oller: 1-3, 8.07 ERA, 22K Listen, like Dylan Cease, Adam Oller is a RHP with a fairly notable mustache. After that, he sucks. My lord, if the Sox lose to this guy and can't break .500, it should be considered a crime. Anyway, let the Dylan Cease Cy Young campaign continue.

Throwing for Chicago: Johnny Cueto 4-4, 2.89 ERA, 58k Throwing for Oakland: Some guy I've never heard of named "Paul Blackburn." 6-6, 4.35 ERA, 82 strikeouts. Pretty much the definition of an average pitcher. Trying to figure out why I've never heard of Paul, I looked him up. He's only pitched against the Sox twice and neither start was remarkable. After 6 seasons with Oakland, he's got a 2.1 fWAR at age 28 for a rebuilding team. After 6 seasons with the White Sox, Leury Garcia had a 2.0 fWAR at age 28 for a rebuilding team. He also represented Oakland in the All-Star game. Now, someone had to represent Oakland. But this guy got in and Cease didn't because the Sox weren't getting two players (Hendriks as a relief pitcher replacement notwithstanding) and the A's are so bad that their Leury Garcia is their All-Star. And they beat the Sox 7-3 last night. So anyway, the Sox can keep losing to the A's and break our hearts because of so many dumb mistakes. Or they can follow this man to victory.

Man I just can't while I watch the Angels Tungsten O'Doyle themselves to death.

AV and Wes Kath is a steep price for Juan Soto, but I think I'd do it.

I'm still pretty upset that a White Sox reunion team (keep Rodon in this scenario) - which would have jived with fans and fit the office MO - would have been better than what we got.

Buy stock in Italian Beef.

Is he a dog or is he a cat?!

Your mastery of the English language truly knows no bounds.

Cristian Mena's 19-year-old season has got to be mentioned here: 11.07 K/9 vs. 2.52 BB/9 with a 1.12 WHIP in Low A-ball. High-A is worse, but he's hilariously young there: 10.04 K/9, 5.19 BB/9, 1.54 WHIP.

"Don't change the game." "Tony's way." "Tony's men don't try."

You telling me the secret to all this is a left-handed GM?

Do the vests and the '50s Sox jerseys to honor Minnie getting in.

Neon Moncada!

To be fair, this wasn't trying to jam the 40-man. It was a stupid as shit attempt at saving money, which is even more infuriating.

Get Luis Gonzalez back to truly complete the head-desk trade.

Boy do I have great news for you. Looking back over the past few seasons, the Sox have generally held onto their top prospects. I'm counting the Top 10 + Steele Walker, since he was in most top 10s outside of Pipeline. The 2017 list: Back when Alec Hansen and Carson Fulmer had value. The 2018 list: Collins gone (four years later), eh. Alec Hansen stocks go up! The 2019 list: Madrigal traded two years later when shown he can't stay healthy (traded for wrong guy), Dunning trade was a win-win but now Lynn's knee is spooky. Walker trade was dumb. Alec Hansen stock goes down. Basabe stock up. The 2020 list: Everyone's been covered that got traded. Basabe trade value (and presence with the Sox temporarily) gone. The 2021 list: Top 10 still in system. I know you live in fear of the next Tatis getting traded away from the system, but Elijah isn't hitting for shit right now. And obviously this is during the rebuild and Hahn's buying record is way more suspect than his selling record.

Hahn gets a deal done for Quintana Then Kenny, angry with this season, begins working in the background. Trades for Soto. There is a confusing amount of anger on the board cause we're happy but also Vaughn/Eloy, Montgomery, Colas (and some more) are gone. We find out Reinsdorf is mad cause the trade was made while he and TLR were at dinner at the deadline and he knows he has to hear about a Soto extension for two years and at least attempt negotiations.

That's like...three dudes.

No

This was my copium take.