Quin

Colson, my god

The What If scenario was thermonuclear Jacob Gonzalez

Cause it's a What If scenario

Meidroth's is powered by stellar defense. He definitely has a place with the team, probably at 2B. But right now: 1) If Sosa isn't a valuable player, why is a team giving up a good outfielder for him? 2) Right now, no one has 1B or 3B locked down, so might as well keep all three of Sosa, Vargas and Mead. Hell, Benintendi could get show the door as his contract begins to get cheaper and you could try one in LF. 3) Giving up Quero or Teel early means you risk losing a franchise catcher if the other flops. If Jacob Gonzalez suddenly went thermonuclear and Montgomery went into a sophomore slump, would it be time to trade Colson?

When you take sample size into account, you can argue Sosa is the team's best hitter this year and you want to drop him? Here's the above average batters they've had, minimum 50 at-bats. Tauchman Teel Montgomery Quero Thaiss Sosa Dropping two of them, who are also very cheap for the near future, is crazy.

They're also getting local fanbases absolutely fucking amped by letting them see legends / shows. How excited were people to see Buehrle/AJ/Paulie/Ozzie and a Chance the Rapper concert? There's great humor that any Sox fan would complain about the Bananas considering the impact Bill Veeck (who Jesse Cole cites as an idol) had on the franchise and baseball in general.

Yeah, the dancing and singing is to get people interested online. But then you have real crazy athletic s%*#. Even if it is hot dogging, like, look at this:

Cause you're telling us — not opining — that the game will be exciting and have more hits if objectively worse hitters are put in the game, robbing fans of a better experience.

But what's more exciting: Jim Thome launching a home run so far it has a plaque or a home run that is only famous because a fat guy hit it while flailing for his life?

Bro just said he would rather watch Jose Contreras bat .094 than win the World Series

Think about how magical the strategy behind Mark Buehrle's home run was. It'd be worth never having Paulie in a Sox uniform.

I always love when people are like "I'll take one Bartolo Colon home run" vs. "Albert Pujols joining the 700 club during a magical final season with the Cardinals."

And Cy Young and Ed Walsh thought that they were weak bitches. Times change.

Tyler Osik told the org that Sean Burke likes to play too much Settlers of Catan. Actual guess: He's gassed.

Did you see the maybe?

It looks like the Lenyn Sosa of air fryers: Versatile (maybe?) with power

Frank Thomas Paul Konerko Jose Abreu Andrew Vaughn Lenyn Sosa

Also if there's one thing MLB should learn from this — and stuff like the Moon Mammoths / Copa nights in the minor leagues — is that they should be ok with having fun. Obviously don't go full bombastic and let it affect the field, but getting crowds pumped with genuinely fun interludes / characters could bring in fans. Jesse Cole is a great MC. The King at Brooklyn Cyclones games brings it every inning. As for the moon mammoths / Copa: We saw how successful Mexican Heritage night was. Now imagine if the Sox played in Las Medias Blancas jerseys or American Giant jerseys for a game or two each year. The Winston-Salem Italian Beef is so corny but would be a fun Sunday jersey. Nike of all companies should be on this, but they for some reason are restricting teams to five jerseys — and we haven't even seen the Southsides, unless I'm forgetting them

Considering the other dudes are practicing their moves like crazy, I'd say that this is the ultimate trick move.

Chuck suggested Ozzie on the post game last night and Ozzie looked like he saw 10,000 ghosts at once.

Hansen was in the 50s once upon a time.

Can also not understate the disaster that was the Cease trade, unless that trio of prospects magically turns it around.

Honestly, makes Sosa's ability to struggle then succeed at every level more impressive to me. I forget who said it's on the board, but I think this team bought into themselves after Sale (over a decade ago), Crochet and an unproven Schultz that they could ball out with power lefties that have funky deliveries. Hubris still runs deep.

Lmao, this is still up on Pipeline.