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CALL YOUR SONS, CALL YOUR DAUGHTERS, CALL YOUR FRIENDS, CALL YOUR NEIGHBORS! THE 2024 CHICAGO WHITE SOX HAVE WON A GAME!!!!

“South side stand up” is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard lol thankfully we’ve only heard it 3 times

Gonna have to bring back the COVID cutouts again soon.

I'm convinced the Sox are giving all these guys their mlb debuts just to increase attendance via their families.

Andrew has looked like that since he was 12.

Things I never thought I would read on Soxtalk.

Vaughn is not 40

Yep, I’m a USAF Vietnam Vet and a click is a kilometer, we used the term to tell the distance that the Vietcong was lobbing in mortars and rockets at the Nha Trang Air Force Base where I was stationed at. The click was the term we used on a compass like distance measuring device that when you moved the dial one click it was one kilometer.

Soutside stand up! My wife: All 12 of you!

Blind squirrel found a acorn

Schriffen: "I love the support from these fans." Lmao there's like 50 people there.

Just a reminder that good seats should still be available for this one.

Yep. They're gassed.

Fans of slapstick comedy.

Thorpe's floor is "not a major leaguer." That's everyone's floor.

Sorry for the bad betting advice Buehrle and any others. I'm shocked we blew the lead. I smelled a DH sweep. All you can do is double up for game two and get your dough back. Sox win. ... I shall buy a beer or corned beef for any fan that took my bad advice in a game at the Cell this summer. Peace out. Sorry for the bad call on the sweep. For what it's worth, it's Sox all over game two. W.

The in-game threads are fucking hilarious if you read them after the game is over. Kudos everyone!

1-800-GAMBLER

I was hoping this was in response to the ball boy post.

That would be an insult to my guy Billy

He wishes.

that ball was literally never in the strike zone its entire way to the plate.

I can't use that for an explosive offensive performance like this.....now game 2 might be a different story.

At least no one showed up to watch this disaster.

So we put Sheets a 1B/DH in the outfield and start Eloy at DH, for what? I say put Eloy in RF and let him injure himself so I don't have to watch him beat the ball in the ground or swing at pitches outside the zone.

It’s Kopech, you expect command?

Dude just threw him a fastball RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE.....how do you do that? LOLTeam

GRIFOL:

Seriously though, how long can you trot out Maldonado on a MLB roster, even one as bad as this one?

Love the diabetes pharmaceutical commercial directly after pumping the campfire milkshake.

Wilson has been incredible. He’s going to fetch a very nice prospect in a few months if he keeps this up.

I'd like to ask our hitting coaches, at every level, if they are teaching the concept of cutting the zone in half or whatever when you're ahead in the count. Robert apparently was working on that sort of concept in his offseason, with his coaches.

On our team we're gonna be sacrificing a lot then.

Here's something you can't say often.. The SP in line for a win after 5.

He just slipped and fell.

I wasn't ready to do so with just Cease, but with the way he is moving players in and out of the organization right now, including exposing and losing prospects to other organizations in a 100 loss season so that he can sign another awful vet of the streets, it feels panicky to me.

Benintendi is a zero tool player

It sucks, as now no free agent will want to sign here due to having a bad defensive player on the team!

Grifol would make outrageous claims, like Gavin Sheets invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

f*** it, betting Greg's mortgage

The more the time gets corrected in these posts, the more off I'm going to make it every time. Besides, does the exact time actually matter, when you're 2-14?

Not anyone who picks up opposing starting pitchers to stream during the week.

And that’s just to get a no decision.

He has been very good through 4 starts. 22.2 IP, 1.99 ERA, 0.93 WHIP. I like this trade more than I did initially but I wonder what we could've gotten if we waited.

They've been revamped from mediocre to pathetic.

Last year, there were 35 doubleheaders, with 16 total sweeps (45.71%). 9 of those sweeps were by the visitors. If any team can get swept at home in a doubleheader, it's the 2024 White Sox.

OK guys. Once in a while greg has a strong premonition. I just have a feeling Sox win both games tomorrow if they are not rained out. It's partly law of averages (even though the law of averages might be erased when a team is this bad). There's no reason for us to win both except a.) The Sox as bad as they are have to win a few home games in 2024. b.) Law of averages says the Royals can't be that much better than the Sox in 7 games in a row. This is a pathetic Royals team. So head to Vegas if u must. Greg guarantees a Sox sweep tomorrow. ... One thing is for sure. If the Sox get swept, it's not hyperbole to say Grifol must be fired on the spot. It's impossible to go 0-7 against a team in April. Sox because of the law of weird baseball averages take 2 tomorrow. Bank it baby.